Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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