I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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