I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
