My liver just broke up with me...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
