some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
