if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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