so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
