Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
