I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
