would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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