He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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