shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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