I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize