Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
