is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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