Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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