Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
