Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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