Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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