i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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