The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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