This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Acid is not a monday night drug
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
