When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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