Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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