The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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