I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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