i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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