Whod you bang
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
