he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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