if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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