i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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