your parents love me but you hate me
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
