i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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