I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I wish I only lived at night.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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