I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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