Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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