Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
