Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
