My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
