I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
