Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize