I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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