Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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