I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
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i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
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idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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