Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
