my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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