It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
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