haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
