I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
