Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
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my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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