im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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