I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
