Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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