I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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