We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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