Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I woke up under a house in Key West
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
