The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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