You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
