i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
