two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
