So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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