Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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