so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I need moral support for this bender
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
