Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
