I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
